Extend an Invite to Build Connection

I was glad to see former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, who helped bring the “loneliness epidemic” into the national conversation, continue that focus with his new podcast, Staying Human. I’ve enjoyed several episodes and especially appreciate the practical ideas that emerge. In a conversation with David French, they discussed how we can help those who might feel lonely or isolated simply by inviting them to do things, with service offering a particularly powerful way to build relationships through shared purpose. In a recent episode, Dr. Robert Waldinger offered a related suggestion: start building new relationships by doing things you enjoy, where connections can form naturally with others who share those interests. I see that Dr. Murthy has just released a conversation with Robert Putnam, one I’ll definitely be listening to soon.

Equip Local Leaders to Strengthen Connection

A recent Harvard Kennedy School article, “Reconnecting Fragmented Social Lives,” brought me back to the work of Sam Pressler, who joined me previously on the SCI podcast. I appreciate Sam’s emphasis on small actions at the local level and equipping local leaders to strengthen connection, an approach that resonates strongly with what we’ve learned through SCI’s community work. We’ve seen how people can learn practical skills and approaches for bringing others together and creating opportunities for connection. Building that capacity at the local level is an important part of addressing social disconnection.

Americans Still Want to Connect Across Differences

A recent WBUR On Point discussion of “affective polarization” highlighted some troubling evidence about Americans’ increasingly negative views of those on the other side of the political divide. Polarization is a serious issue, but through the enthusiastic response to SCI’s community-building work, I also see how hungry people are for connection, including opportunities to connect across differences. It reinforces the importance of creating more opportunities for people to build relationships with those who have different backgrounds and perspectives. I shared some reasons for my optimism in a recent Connection Corner video and in my article, “Four Signs Americans Want to Come Together Across Differences.”

Listening First: Remembering Robert Coles

I recently took some time to reflect on the life of Dr. Robert Coles, who passed away earlier this year. I took his course, Literature of Social Reflection, during my senior year, and the course had a big impact on me. I can still picture Professor Coles coming to the center of the stage, hands casually in his khaki pockets, starting class with something like, “Does anyone have any questions or ideas? About the reading…or life?”

I was preparing to spend the next year in Kentucky on a service project at the time, so the questions we were exploring felt especially relevant to me. When a classmate asked for tips on how to approach serving in a new community, Professor Coles suggested that the place to start wasn’t by reading the right books or developing the perfect intellectual framework. Rather, he said to find a local place where people gather, strike up conversations, and listen to people’s experiences.

To this day, starting by listening is an approach I try to take in building relationships and in my work.

Read the longer version of my reflection on LinkedIn.